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In Our Eyes

Dysfunctional with a Side of Anxiety

Life.. Is very difficult. Not just the typical teenage drama that sadly comes with the young hormones that drive many insane. Life is not easy, especially to the human beings that have been labeled as the most complex and dangerous breed of the human race: The teenagers. Teenagers actually have a genuine purpose and a specific point of view of growing up. Often stereotyped as being rebellious and reckless, adolescents are trying to find their voices. Mistakes will be made along the way, but that’s the process of growing up. As hard it is for parents to accept, their teenage … Continue reading In Our Eyes

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Thank You and Farewell

Dysfunctional with a Side of Anxiety

From the deepest depths of my heart, I would like to thank all of you for following and reading the endless nonsense that is sometimes this blog. This blog will always be where I started as a writer. I realized there are goals I have yet to accomplish, and I don’t think I can continue being on this site any longer if I want to continue my goals. Over the last three years, we have gained a small following here on WordPress, and I will always cherish that moment. A few years back, we were invited to write for another … Continue reading Thank You and Farewell

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I thought about it a lot and now I’m here

Dysfunctional with a Side of Anxiety

“I usually become a ghost to those who no longer deserve my time. I’ve never seen a point in explaining my absence to someone who failed to appreciate my presence. You don’t owe any explanations to those who hurt you.” //- R.H. Sin I have a new place that you can read my stuff: obiinwrites.wordpress. It’s just a blog all to my own. It’s going to be more personal, real, and free. I just want to try to focus on my mind and who I am. I want to express myself in the realest way possible and hopefully someone can gain … Continue reading I thought about it a lot and now I’m here

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I yearn for something that’s not here

Dysfunctional with a Side of Anxiety

“Give me raw conversation without filters or restraints. I yearn for something deeper, I long for understanding.” ― R.H. Sin Sometimes I write short paragraphs, want-to-be poems, little moments or feelings that I feel need to be written down. These aren’t long enough to be their own separate blog post and for that reason I will sloppily share them here, at 1 AM, with the lights on, and the air brisk. These are some from those two weeks I felt a lot, did a lot, moved on, didn’t move on, and had finals. 1.// I missed her smile Her loud laugh … Continue reading I yearn for something that’s not here

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Uneasiness

Dysfunctional with a Side of Anxiety

“Look at this, it’s my bone, a tip of bone torn from its flesh, filthy, filled up with woes, it’s the days of our lives sticking out, a blunt bone bleached by the rain. There’s no shine to it, innocent, stupidly white, absorbing the rain, blown back by the wind, just barely reflecting the sky.” -N. C. Something is off. There’s an uneasiness in the room that makes my stomach turn. Something is definitely not right. There’s a looming sense of dread in every breath I take. The air is filled with a toxicity like no other. There’s a constant, … Continue reading Uneasiness

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I’m loved, so why?

Dysfunctional with a Side of Anxiety

I’m loved. I’m loved. So why? I’m loved, I’m loved! So why? Why is it dark and empty. Why do I feel like I can’t breathe. What is this feeling? My mind is blank and everything feels heavy. My mind is clouded. I feel like my heart is being ripped apart. No, my entire chest. Like there’s an earthquake in my body and my ribs are slowly falling. Breaking apart, one by one they suffocate my lungs. All the wind is being sucked out of me. All I can feel are the hot tears running down my face. This is … Continue reading I’m loved, so why?

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Mommy Dearest

Dysfunctional with a Side of Anxiety

My mom was honestly one of the biggest sources of my pain. I know that it’s hard for me to tell her things because of how strict and cold she is. One thing though I realize through hysterical tears as I write this, Let me give a bit of a background. My mom and I never talk. Meaning, since I was nine years of age, we both just kind of did our own thing. She went to work, I would get myself ready for school. This is still going on except I go to work and I go home and … Continue reading Mommy Dearest

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Updates

Dysfunctional with a Side of Anxiety

These past couple of months were rough. I got my heart stomped on weeks before my birthday, found out the man I loved moved on quickly, and my work environment went downhill. One thing that is worth mentioning is an incident that occurred at work. Without going into too much detail, basically one of my superiors was a girl I went to high school with and one of my other coworkers who was my equal was one of her closest friends.  I have two supervisors working with me, and they did not get along too much. Most of their issues … Continue reading Updates

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Let’s Talk About Love

Dysfunctional with a Side of Anxiety

Love. I know for a damn fact I love whole heartedly and unconditionally to strangers. Growing up, I had close to nothing. I had a mother who barely acknowledges my existence, a father that is almost a myth in my life, and a life that keeps moving even though I need it to stop for a minute to catch my breath. I could say an excuse and claim that I love unconditionally because I know what it is like to be unloved or whatever. But, honestly, I know that that statement is complete bull sh*t. It is bull sh*t in … Continue reading Let’s Talk About Love

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These are all for you

Dysfunctional with a Side of Anxiety

“Now I would never diss my own momma just to get recognition Take a second to listen for who you think this record is dissing But put yourself in my position, just try to envision Witnessing your momma popping prescription pills in the kitchen Bitching that someone’s always going through her purse and shit’s missing…” I can’t even look at you right now. I feel like I’ve grown and I’m better. I’m amazing, doing everything I said I would by the book. But does that change anything? My version of me can’t coexist with the version of you right now. … Continue reading These are all for you

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Now What?

Dysfunctional with a Side of Anxiety

I promised myself I would not fall in love. My High School graduation was the deadline of a relationship of one of the first people I had fallen for. He moved to Maryland and he did not want to do long distance so we decided on a deadline. Our deadline was June 10, 2016, the day of our high school graduation because on the day after he and his family prepared to PCS, permanent change of station, to a new state. It took a while to heal. I estimated about six months before I fully was able to let my … Continue reading Now What?